The Krankiboy Khronicles

Teaching fourth grade has been causing me to recall strange memories from my own youth.

Memory 1 (4th Grade)
The day I scored four touchdowns in one recess during fourth grade and was accepted into the ranks of the cool kids.

Memory 2 & 3 (5th Grade) & (7th Grade)
The day I was tricked into fighting the one black kid in our entire elementary school. He swings and misses. I swing and hit. Fight over. Sorry, Juan Nelson of P.S. 114 Rockaway Beach NY. Those Irish Catholic kids were always trying to stir shit up. I blame Joe Courtney. But I felt he got his when he walked into the yard on our first day of 7th grade at Junior High School 180. Joe saw Juan and yelled his standard "playful" greeting "Yo nigger, what's up?" You see JHS 180 was 80% black and some of the kids were almost 18 years old. I think Joe transferred out. I certainly don't remember him ever speaking in public again.

Memory 4 (6th grade)
The day that the chubby yet cute Dana "I'm in the cool girl club" Segel approached me on the school yard and proceeded to tell me that when we were both in fourth grade I used to be cool and she even had a crush on me, but now that I was hanging out with the loser crowd I was a loser, too. This is a direct quote.

Dana: "Now you think you're hot shit, but you're nothing but a cool fart on a warm day."

Maybe you're right, Dana. Maybe you're right.