Halloween Part 1 of 3

Double Fisting Friday

There is a saying that says you should always dance with the girl that brought you. This is especially true if that girl is Vodka. So I was Mad scarred up and bloody Dr. Krankiboy. Penny and my friends insisted that I also bring a wire hangar to make a political statement. I did. But it wasn't the crowd pleasing conversation piece I'd hoped it would be. It was hard to carry a machete, wire hangar and a cocktail all at the same time, so I prioritized and hung the hangar on the ceiling fan. I couldn't get my act together to go as a Punk as I had planned. Plus looking like a poor wastrel druggie youth can get expensive if you're only resource is vintage clothing on Melrose Avenue. They're not giving away those spiked collars and anarchy shirts for free. Next year, perhaps. So yeah, mixing your alcohols can be bad.

A few large Vodka and cranberry drinks - Yummy. Okay Vodka is gone... Rum and cranberry, Oh! And some of that Pineapple liquor. Sweet and Tangy. Okay, now the rum is gone. How about Coke and cherry flavored liquor... Sure and while I'm already making one drink why not double fist it and drink a mostly Tequila Margarita at the same time. Sure it looks like a fine plan on paper, but in practice, not so much.

Some things I do remember:

1) The party was huge and elaborate
2) The more I drank the more everybody liked me.
3) I took a picture to pay tribute to our women in uniform. Naughty Girlscout Penny, Naughty Nurse Marin and Naughty Pot Brownie...uh, didn't get her name.

4) Dogs at the party were dressed as devils and angels and were not happy about it.

5) Big Gay German guy hitting on Marin only to get to her boyfriend who was dressed as a Dork/Nerd. "Your boyfriend is very cute even dressed up as a dork he's quite cute..." Was this bi Germanic photographer trying to hook up a menage? Who knows? I got the hell out of there to find a drink since I was already down to holding just one and 2/3 drinks. Not a good time to sober up.

6) Down at the fire pit (Fire pits are fucking awesome!) my friend told me he'd pay me ten dollars if I could get the girl dressed as a Girl Gone Wild (Mardi Gra beads and a "Censored" sign over her t*ts) to show me her t*ts. I had pretty much talked her into it after explaining the "bet" that my dorky friend offered up. Then I think I saw something shiny or dork's girlfriend came over. I don't usually get sidetracked when somebody gives me a challenge. You know that kid that would always take you up on a dare for money. That was me and still is to some degree.

7) Had conversation with a Cowgirl struggling with the fact that it was her 30th birthday. I gave some insight and wisdom in between checking out her ten-year-old boy ass.

8) Tall gay men were starting to increase in number.

9) Lestat the Vampire was our generous host.

10) Chubby girl dressed up as a French maid flirted with me heavily and hit me with a riding crop. That makes six consecutive Halloweens in a row this has happened.

11) Girls dressed as Krispy Kreme Donut girls were give out free tastes of their holes. Struck me as a bit dirty.

12) Got a bit carried away and began molesting my wife/Girlscout at the fire pit, paving the way for everybody else to start macking on one another. I blame the combination of alcohol and knee socks.

13) Girlscout drove Nurse, Dork and Mad Doctor back home.

14) Tapped my first Girlscout cookie in some of the drunkest, "what the hell happened last night" sex I've ever had.

15) Dork sends me email apologizing for "being a dork."

And that was just Friday's Halloween Fun. There are two more nights of parties left... Time for me to reinvent myself as Dr. Love. We are off for a night of crazy dancing at God's Kitchen.