I am just going to write whatever pops into my head. So you might want to go read the Onion if you want some cleverly crafted humor.
Today it was so fucking hot outside I was only saved by having in-laws with a little pool and big hearts. I've talked about how angry I get when I don't get enough to eat. Well, the same thing happens when I get too hot. Anything in the mid 90's is too hot. The temperature over here went to 105 degrees I don't know what the hell that is celsius, because I am way to hot and uncomfortable to do the god damn conversion. I would be the first douchebag tossed off the Island in Survivor. I wouldn't last three days. You've seen how the women and men on the show who aren't used to roughing it complain, well,
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fuck it it's too hot to write. Yes, I'm just slammed my hand on the keyboard, because I'm somewhat irritated. Thanks for noticing. I'm going into my bedroom where I have AC and reading a book. And yes, I know I'm a big wussy and I should suck it up. Why don't you slam your hand on the keyboard and see what you get. Then send it to me in a comment. Try it it's fun to hit your keyboard. People will think you're a really tortured artist and all the sexy girls and boys will want to suck your feet so hard that your toenails will come off.
I watched the first six episodes of the Chappell Show and I normally like him, but I thought it pretty much sucked. Could it be the heat or do you have to be a stoner to watch and laugh at the show. Now you get because I'm in a fowl, old-man-who's-mad-at-the-world state of mind. I feel like the angry neighbor who used to yell at us when we went to retrieve our tennis balls when somebody got good stick on it and hit it across the street. YOU BASTARD KIDS ! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BLOG! You want me to call your parents!?
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5 comments:
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My computer beeped at me! I got so angry hitting it that it got angry right back at me and swore at me (censoring itself at the same time)!
You just knew I was going to accommodate you on this post, didn't you! :)
Bevis:
First let me say, thank you. I wondered if anybody would join me in senselessly hitting their computers. I'm sorry that your computer swore at you for hitting it. My computer has the cursing sensor removed so he doesn't bleep out his expletives, in fact, he'll go on and on for a while with cutting personal stabs until I start to tear up and they we both apologize and have a good cry together. It really isn't your computer's fault that I am hot and irate. So it has every right to curse at you for your violent attack. But this does show me that you are highly suggestable and I may use this aspect of your character for my own future entertainment/evil plots.
Miss Know It All:
I hope this isn't your first visit to my blog. You read perhaps one of the worst posts I've ever posted. Stupid HEAT! But it's nice to have you as a visitor. You, will get to know Bevis, as he is my unofficial sidekick*. Is it expensive to have a sidekick you ask? Yes, but Bevis is worth it.
* Sidekick SLANG A close friend or follower.
Actually side dish is more appropriate. - A dish served as an accompaniment to the main course.
Holy heatwave, Krank-Man! Quick! To the Krank Cave!
(It's cooler in there anyway.)
Miss Know it All sounds hot. Light jackets are sexier than a motherfucker. On another topic, Chapelle is hit or miss like most sketch shows. Sure, Charlie Murphy's true hollywood stories are great but most of it is just "black guy bitching about being black."
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